Lovely

Neon Saturn

Look Ma, I'm A Speech Writer!

I really don't care which party is elected in 2008. I'll vote for anyone who is almost the polar opposite of our current president, and I hope their first speech to the nation goes something like this:

My fellow Americans, it is with great honor that I have been elected as your President. I promise to work the hardest any President has ever worked in the next four years, and I also promise to return to something that has been sorely neglected: to be accessible, to communicate, to be genuine and true. As President of the United States of America, I am part of "we the people". The American government is not a separate, nor sovereign, entity. It is a part of the people. It is us!

There is an art to being the President of our great democracy. It is an art of leading and at the same time listening. Obviously there are times when tough decisions need to be made, and in situations of security there are times when a leader needs to hold his or her tongue. But those situations are rare.

A President needs to be accessible, to lead and teach at the same time. A President needs to be fully participatory in as many aspects of the nation as he or she can. A President needs to intelligently communicate with the American people, and with all the governments and peoples of the world. When a President does this, then trust is formed. This trust is crucial. This trust is what allows a President to get through those infrequent and unfortunate times of security when things must be discrete. This trust is the sign of a healthy government. Trust must never be neglected. Trust is something vital. Trust is what makes a nation powerful. I will do my best to restore this trust and return our government back to its shining glory. WE are America!

And so on...

There are many other things to be addressed in that first speech, but communication and trust are paramount.











Now here it is, your url of the day:
http://www.ancientstandard.com/

Eternal Head-Tilt

When you're a busy nurse and have got ten thousand things to get to, there's nothing more maddening than a slow patient. It's like going at a full run and then screeeeeech!, now you must stand there watching someone take one pill at a time while your adrenaline is making your eyes spin.

I don't blame 'em. They're sick, usually elderly. They've got problems I don't wish on anyone.

But watching some 90-year old holding their med cup and bringing it slow-motion to their lips, looking down every now and then to see how close they're getting, almost there... almost there!, finally contacting their chin or hallelujah! lower lip, and then starting that tortuous vision of eternity in trying to tilt their head back to get the pills to slide into their mouths...

You want them to do it themselves. They want to do it themselves.

But that eternal head-tilt is excruciating! The pills slide millimeter-by-millimeter down the side of the cup toward the patient's mouth, but they never ever get there! To make it worse, the patient will often start over!

Arrrgh!! "Here, let me help you."

"I can do it!"

This is what hell is like for a nurse: No IV's, only pills, and eternal head-tilts.









Now here it is, your url of the day:
http://www.dokakuro.com/ (to pass the head-tilt time)

Bumper Sticker

I'm trying to figure out a good bumper sticker to direct at religious extremists (as outlined a few posts ago), but I need help.

I need something along the lines of:

Your Religion Needs A Bath!

Use Your Religion Right, Or Put It Away!

Your Religion Put My Eye Out!

Don't Run With Your Religion. Walk!

Wash And Rinse Your Religion. Repeat.

Any suggestions?
I just know a really good one will make them think!*








*Yes. Sarcasm.

Beautiful Sadness

As I helped a 90-year old woman take out her dentures for the night she modestly told me,

"I used to have beautiful teeth. We lived in Austria. During the war the soldiers got everything. We could only get rations. They gave all the fruits and vegetables to the soldiers. We couldn't get any. Then our teeth began to fall out. I was very beautiful before."

She still was.










Now here it is, your url of the day:
http://www.skytopia.com

Damn You Terabithia!

Ok, so I rent Bridge To Terabithia for my daughter thinking that it's along the lines of Narnia - a fantasy where kids find a secret land and amazing adventures ensue...

But what the hell?! Terabithia brilliantly goes into left field leaving the whole family crying like babies!

How dare they make such a magically unique film!




I'm glad I knew nothing about it beforehand. It was quite a nice punch!

Winds Of Change

I've been interested of late in watching the atheist movement, if you can call it that. There has been a wave of books recently attacking religion, or at least religious fundamentalism, and thus garnering controversy.

I applaud them for going after religious extremism. Religious extremists are those who are metaphorically challenged - those who take religious metaphors literally. They are ignorant people and are also the most dangerous kind of people. They cowardly hide behind some weird concept of "because this is what I believe my religion means, you aren't allowed to criticize me."

They are those who blow themselves up in the name of their god, who open creationist museums (see what my last post started!), who pick and choose and follow any number of ancient city-state laws that make little sense in today's world, who go into church with love and compassion in their hearts but walk out the door an hour later acting like full-fledged assholes, who declare a holy war (most ironic term, ever!) over anything from a cartoon to bad table service, who shamelessly and dangerously participate in faith-healing, who join any crowd or mob who is running around crazy in the street yelling and burning effigies, who selfishly twist words of ancient prophets, who thank God for personal gain (that's you, sports and award show winners), who subjugate any group based on sex or race or culture or anything else, who use any kind of martyrdom, who put their god's or prophet's name on silly bumper stickers, who even mention their god's or prophet's name outside of their church or home, who follow any popular guru who gives expensive-ass seminars in hotel ballrooms, who follow any popular politician because he invokes the name of their god, who seriously think there are certain areas of real estate that are 'holy', who are cultist retards (that's you, Scientology), who build anything in the name of their god, who engage in missionary work, who see holy images in tortillas, who have the absolute arrogance to speak for their god, who can't even get past the most commonly shared religious lesson of the golden rule...

Yes, religious extremists suck. They suck and they murder, hypocrites all.

Could the atheist 'movement' be a much-needed catalyst for change? Should it be the enzyme to help transform religion out of its sickness and save it from its inevitable death as it starves itself on desiccated bones of ancient mythology?

Strip a religion of all its rites, rituals, baggage, soot, and what is left?

Religions, in themselves, aren't bad. They are just not appreciated or used correctly, some even from the start. They are abominations, hulks with beautiful spiritual/moral lessons inside. Religious history is something to be studied, remembered and learned from. Some of it is wonderful, some of it hideous, but all of it is history.

The simple lesson is this: Learn a metaphor, appreciate and use its teaching, then leave it behind and move on.

The atheists who simply denounce or deride religion do little to help people learn that lesson. They may shock people, but the trick is to take advantage of that shock and teach people how to re-valuate their religious beliefs, to constructively criticize their religions and institute changes that will help them become relevant.

But for some religions perhaps atheists should actually be kind of like hospice care nurses, helping people through the grieving process as they lay their old religion to rest. For others, atheists definitely need to teachers. Religion isn't going away any time soon, but it can be used properly. The metaphorically challenged can learn.











Now here it is, your url of the day:
http://www.metaphorical.net/

Global Warming 2.0

Do yourself a favor and read Rolling Stone's current issue containing nice articles about global warming.

Our democracy is supposed to operate more often than not according to the rule of reason. A well-informed citizenry, to use the phrase our founders revered, has a conversation according to the best evidence available and tries to make the best decision. But that's not how it works today. That's what's gone wrong.

I predict this summer will be the tipping point - the point where the nay-saying denialists get run over, their muffled bleeting lost under the heavy stomp of science.


*sigh* On the other hand, a batshit-crazy creationist museum just opened its doors!



I'd rather visit the Nevis Engine factory.











Now here it is, your url of the day:
http://badspock.blogspot.com/

Soaps Rule, Hand Gels Drool

This is some common sense we've been pregnant with for quite awhile, yet we still refuse to induce labor,

from Scientific American: Antibacterial Products May Do More Harm Than Good:

When a bacterial population is placed under a stressor—such as an antibacterial chemical—a small subpopulation armed with special defense mechanisms can develop. These lineages survive and reproduce as their weaker relatives perish. "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" is the governing maxim here, as antibacterial chemicals select for bacteria that endure their presence.

As bacteria develop a tolerance for these compounds there is potential for also developing a tolerance for certain antibiotics. This phenomenon, called cross-resistance, has already been demonstrated in several laboratory studies using triclosan, one of the most common chemicals found in antibacterial hand cleaners, dishwashing liquids and other wash products. "Triclosan has a specific inhibitory target in bacteria similar to some antibiotics," says epidemiologist Allison Aiello at the University of Michigan School of Public Health.

Phantastic Link

There are hundreds of marvelous creature/fantasy/sci-fi pictures over at Cornell's The Fantastic in Art and Fiction Collection.

Check them all out!









Some reminded me of the cool Sexy Witch site.

Rules Of Journalism

This is too good not to pass on. Michael Rosenberg over at the Detroit Free Press has come up with "Journalism Rules: Here Are The Secrets".

A few of them:

Afflict the comfortable and comfort the afflicted; then, after the afflicted become comfortable, afflict them again. This should provide an endless supply of news stories.

Be balanced. No matter what anybody says, find somebody to say the opposite. If a scientist claims to have a cure for cancer, find somebody who says cancer does not exist. If a man says "My name is Fred," make sure you find somebody who says "No, your name is Diane." Etc.

When deciding which tragedies deserve the most prominent coverage, use this simple math: 10,000 foreigners = one cute white American chick.

Keep each of the following on speed dial: a wacko religious leader who believes that God loves all his children, except the ones who skip church once in awhile; a gun nut who put semiautomatic weapons on his baby registry; an anti-weapons nut who thinks there should be a 10-day waiting period before buying steak knives; a legendary, highly quotable politician who has not been sober past noon since 1991, and a self-designated leader of each of the following minority groups: African Americans, Asians, Latinos, American Indians, homosexuals, transsexuals, fat people, skinny people, people with absolutely no distinguishing physical attributes, and foot fetishists.

Medical Blog Highlight

Check out An Illustrated History of Trepanation over at the intriguing Neurophilosophy blog.

Delightfully gruesome!






(found via)

November Clouds In June

I had a nursing preceptor class all day yesterday. That means I was bored enough to write poetry.

I'm only kidding... a little. Actually, on Tuesday evening I took the dog outside for her last bit of business for the night and the sky was striking - overcast, darkly quiet. It looked like November clouds in June!

So I thought of this and honed it in class yesterday:

November Sky

A hushed breeze stole
Under darkened sky
Alarmed by the light
A weary glow
Frightened by Fall
Stumbles above clouds
Fleeing from Winter

Not too bad, eh?









Now here it is, your url of the day:
Musical Illusion

A Few Words...

A president once said, "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself."
Now it seems like we're supposed to be afraid.
It's patriotic, in fact, and color-coded.
What are we supposed to be afraid of?
Why, of being afraid.
That's what terror means, doesn't it?
That's what it used to mean.

from Randy Newman's song, "A Few Words In Defense Of Our Country"

Now here it is, your url of the day:
Typetester

Fat Slob Rant

Patient: "Can I have a glass of ice?"

Me: "Sure." The aide's busy, I'll go get it. No problem. Do de do de do.

Patient: "Thanks. Oh! Will you get me a warm blanket?"

Me: *slight pause* "Uh, sure." OK, why didn't you ask me before I went 10 miles down the hall for the ice? Oh well. No problem. Do de do de do.

Patient: "Thanks. My urinal's full."

Me: *cold stare* "Uh huh, I'll be right back." Holy shit! Is this guy serious? OK, you're overreacting. It was just a few requests. I'll go assess one of my six other patients real quick and then zoom on by to empty the urinal. Where's that aide?

The same patient's call light is on when I come out of another patient's room.

Patient: "Is there a snack machine downstairs?"

Me: *warily* "Yes."

Patient: *holding out handful of change* "Would you mind getting me one of those bags of the little cookies?"

Me: "Uh, sure, but not right now. I have to check on another patient."

Patient: "When will you be done?"

Me: Sweet Zombie Jesus! "Uh, in, oh... 20 minutes."

Patient: "OK. Don't forget my urinal. Oh, and when you come back, I'll need more ice."

Me: *teeth clenched* "Sure." I'm just gonna blow this off right now, otherwise I'll kill him.

15 minutes later the patient's call light goes on. The aide is gone to CT with another patient. I'm so behind. I do other stuff and answer the light 15 minutes later. Nearing the room I hear him calling out "Hello? Hello?"

Me: "Can I help you?" *grabbing urinal and emptying it*

Patient: "My light's been on for 10 minutes. You ready to get me my cookies? Oh, and you forgot my ice, ha ha."

Me: *killer stare*

Patient: "You all busy tonight?"

Me: Oh, no you didn't!! Oh hell no, you DID NOT just ask THAT! "Yesss, we are." I walk out.

I'm twenty feet away before the patient's call light goes on again.

Me: You motherf---er! "Yes SIR?"

Patient: "You forgot the money. Also, can you get me a soda?"

Me: "OK, listen, I'll do all these things you want but it's very busy at the moment. You keep putting your light on and it's making me take even longer. If you'd just be a little patient, we'll get to it. OK?"

Patient: "Hey, hey... That's rude! I'm paying a lot of money to be in this hospital and I expect some courtesy."

Me: You fat slob! "Oh, you don't feel the staff is being courteous?"

Patient: "Everyone has an attitude here. I'm asking for simple things. Just simple requests. Everyone acts rude to me. I don't deserve that kind of treatment."

Me: *slowly* "It's not that your requests can't be met, it's just that you have so many of them."

Patient: "Yeah, but I'm sick!"

Me: So are the 30 other people on the floor! This guy is a slob. Look at that bedside table covered with snacks and spilled drinks! There's wrappers all over the floor! The friggin' call light has peanut butter smeared all over it! The guy's blankets are barely seen through all the crumbs! "You are right."

I walk out and ignore the light that goes off a minute later.

I go into an isolation room where I am assured not to be able to leave for quite awhile.
The aide comes in ten minutes later.

Aide: "The guy in 28 wants to know if you got his snack? Also, he wants his meds."

Me: "OK." Whatever.

30 minutes later I return to his room.

Me: "Here's your meds."

Patient: "I want to complain about that aide. She was very rude to me. I asked for more ice and she said I had enough in my cup. I want it full! Also, I asked her for some cherry pie and she said you don't have any!"

Me: *dumbfounded* "Pie?!"

Patient: "Yeah, and then she just walked out!"

Me: "Pie?!" I walk out of the room in a daze. Pie?!

Patient: "Hey!"

I keep walking away in a daze. His call light goes on again.

"Pie?!"









Now here it is, your url of the day:
Become a Lie Detector

Web Music Thingys

I don't know exactly what to call them, but there are several interesting music sites on the web that attempt to gather similar musical tastes.

Take Music-Map, for example. Type in, say, "Frank Zappa" and it swirls similar artists around in a box, the more similar they are then the closer their name is to Frank's. (You'll notice that Frank is fairly alone there)

Or try Pandora. It's a little difficult to use because you have to create a "station". The backstage section of the site has all the user stations/playlists and is easy to search.

Musicplasma gives a pretty solar-system format around your search, but that's about it.

Musotik gives you more info like links to YouTube vids, and it uses Last.fm data which is nice.

Sort of the best I've found so far is Musicmesh which is still pretty new but it provides a nice bar of reviews, track links, Amazon and Wikipedia links, and a YouTube vid. However, the similar artist deal of it focuses more on similar work by the same artist.


So how'd they all do with a search for Zappa?

Well, you'd think Captain Beefheart would be at the top of most similar artist links.
He is in a few of them, but they vary wildly. And none of them mentioned Edgard Varèse!

How they collect their data varies. I'm guessing most use 'similar purchase' data and others use 'similar playlist' data. Perhaps some use both.
At any rate, they all rarely turn you on to a similar artist that you can dig.



Speaking of searching though, check out this new tool: Spacetime.










Now here it is, your url of the day:
http://www.deepfun.com/

Pet Corner

Having a new puppy, I've quickly learned not to go to pet stores like PetSmart or PETCO where stuff is marked up one zillion %.

All hail dollar stores where pet toys can be found for $1!











Now here it is, your url of the day:
http://www.cartoon-secrets.com/

Beating A Dead Horse

More things you won't see Bush doing post-presidency:

Traveling.
Diplomacy.
Apologizing.
Going to Stop Smirking Now classes.
Loving black people.
Refusing Halliburton party invitations.
Listening to his father.
Receiving the Nobel Peace Prize.
Going on The Daily Show.
Getting wiser.

Pain Warehouse

The old bumper sticker has been reversed:

"I'd rather have a prefrontal lobotomy than a free bottle in front of me"

That darn prefrontal lobe! New research shows it holds onto pain tighter than a soccer mom to her spot in a supermarket line.

Northwestern University Professor Vania Apkarian said the key source of chronic pain appears to be an old memory trace that essentially gets stuck in the brain's prefrontal cortex -- the site of emotion and learning -- where the brain seems to remember the injury as if it were fresh and can't forget it.

Apparently there's a drug called Cycloserine, an old TB med, that may help.

Ahhh, old meds...
They never die.









Now here it is, your url of the day:
http://bookinscriptions.com

Medical Blog Highlight

The doc over at Surgeonsblog is on a roll - there's an awesome series of posts (nine, so far!) about the various stages of a surgery.



Check it out; it starts here.